No, I’m actually not ‘sick’ as in like the flu or anything like that. Over the weekend I hurt myself around my breasts and now have a lump. It hurts like a bruise without there actually being a bruise on the outside. Maybe it’s a muscle pain thing. I don’t know. But if after a week it doesn’t go away then I might consider going to the doctor. I’ve been seeing way too many doctors lately and it’s becoming a pain. On Friday I have my monthly check up with my blood specialist and I haven’t been taking my iron pills the way I should so I know my levels are gonna be low this month.

…in other news -

IT’S MARCH!

March happens to be a very important month for many reasons. First of all, this month marks 1 year and 7 months with Adam which means… I’m his longest relationship! It is very exciting for me. He has so much more experience in life (he’s six years older than me) and so to hit a milestone together is very amazing. And speaking of Adam… his birthday is this friday the 4th. I super pumped for him as it is the big 3 – 0. I don’t think he realizes just how important this birthday is to a person. For the most part I think he feels old with this number even though he doesn’t look a day over 20. But finally the biggest thing for me this month would be the awesomeness that is having a week’s vacation. No holidays this month and with no sick days left, I’m thrilled to have this glorious week away from work!

So last night Adam and me had our first at home (cooked by us) dinner since we’ve started dating. Is that weird? I think it might be. His parents have always been bugging us to buy food and make it ourselves, since it would ‘save money’. I think we decided on Tacos because he refused to take me to Taco Bell after the whole 38% meat deal. I have to say I had a lot more fun than I thought I would doing it. Although we made way too much food for just the two of us lol.

It looks good, doesn’t it! I also tried for the first time Wholly Guacamole dip and wow it is amazing! It was so funny too because prior to us cooking dinner, I was talking to Adam’s mom about Guacamole sauce and which ones were good. She mentioned the Wholly Guacamole being an excellent and I was disappointed that I didn’t bother seeking it out (it has slices of avocado in it!). Well later on when we started making the food I realize I did in fact get that exact brand, lol. It went great with the tacos and with the nachos so I’m definitely going to buy it more often.

I’m going to try and post on my blog more often though. Also I want to try and lift my animanga graphics site from the graveyard. I don’t know if I can though. Too much stuff going on right now but maybe in a few months or something.

When did it happen? How is it that I didn’t notice before this? When did I become bargain hunting, coupon using, W.O.W. playing dweeb with a tingle of cheap?! Not that I’m complaining… I am saving money and am now a part of the arguably largest MMO EVER!!!! …okay so maybe this is putting a bit of salt in my cupcake. It doesn’t bother me, it’s just that it makes me feel lame. A bit of a contradiction, I suppose. But there is no escaping the fact that I absolutely love playing W.O.W. No matter how tired I feel, I know I have to put an hour or two of my time daily into the game.

And… well… about being cheap… when did I become the person who buys the store brand soda as opposed to Pepsi just because it saves me 75 cents. When did I become my parents?

I suppose in the long run these things really don’t bother me at all. A lot of people do both these things and there is nothing wrong with them, so why should there be anything wrong with me. World of Warcraft gives me a hobby and bargain hunting saves me a buck or two. Only alternative is to embrace these things with open arms and just give it up. Be proud of whom I am.

A video game loving penny in a jar for a rainy day saver…. It kind of has a nice ring to it =)

It was my birthday on Thursday (23, now) and it was without a doubt the best birthday ever! It also marked my first birthday with Adam which was pretty sweet. Got some awesome gifts (will post pictures later). Had awesome cake. Oh and also had a nervous breakdown. I have impeccable timing for this stuff, don’t I? Ha. I always like to think my birthday really is when marks a new year for me (as opposed to Jan. 1) and it’s the time to make resolutions for myself. Last year my resolutions were pretty much accomplished so I was looking forward to making my list again this year.. and then it hit me… I have no goals for life. All I want to do is sit on my fat ass and play WOW. That’s it. Que the nervous breakdown here. Lucky for me, I had Adam at my side when I started going into cardiac arrest freaking out. I think what it boiled down to was the fact that I hate my life. Like REALLY hate my life. But the worst part is I can fully admit that I don’t have it bad. I have it pretty good actually. Somehow that makes it kind of worse.

But enough with the melodramatics please!

I have tons to sort out in my head for the next few days. Life style changes for sure. But all of them for a better – happier – me in the future.

Besides all that blah blah blah, I went to Brunswick Square Mall (I think that’s what it’s called) off of rt 18 this weekend. Had a giftcard from Barnes and Nobles so I thought I’d use it right away for some manga of course. When I went to check out with Adam on my right and books in hand, I had the utmost pleasure to see my dream guy at the cashier. He was it. That punk emo rocker dude with the piercings, heavy jewelry, and fucking awesome hair that I can only manage to snag in dreams. Of course I told Adam how I felt and teased him all weekend with the ‘BNN Guy’. All in good fun. That is something that I love about my relationship with Adam. While he may get jealous that I go gaga over other guys sometimes, he doesn’t flip his shit because he knows that I love him. I mean sure BNN Guy was hot but I would never wanna get to know him. I’m not interested in that. I just love eye-candy!

Online dating is the hardest form of dating I have ever come across by a long shot. When you message someone and they look at your picture and if they don’t message you back…well…you can guess what they must think of you. Surely after a couple of no reply messages a person confidence must straight to go down. That’s not even the worst of it yet. Let’s say you get lucky and you either get the reply or better someone you find attractive writes to you f irst, what happens next? Sure you got someone’s interest based on a picture, but here comes to play personality. You may start off with the basics (fav. music, interests, education, work status) but after two or three days of messaging…than what? There is only so much you can write without giving all of yourself away. Anyway after some messaging comes the decision of getting the number or meeting up. For some people they exchanges the digits and talk on the phone for awhile (maybe months) before meeting up. For others (like me) you setup a date.

Some may call it ‘rushing’ if only after a couple of messages I am willing to meet up for a date, but trust me when I say there is a certain logic to this. The way I see it is that messaging can only provide a certain level of ‘sparks’ and all those sparks can burst in a second when you meet a person. So what’s the point of messaging someone for months if after the first date you’ll never see them again. Waste of time much?

I texted a guy named Nelson for about two days. Good conversation and we sent each other a couple of pictures and then decided to meet up for the classic movie date. The entire time we spent together was in my opinion good (perhaps even great). We talked. We laughed. And he kept doing that eyes to lips thing, guys usually do when they want to kiss you, the entire time. At the end of the night he said the classic line ‘I really want to get together with you again. Sometime this weekend.’ and then he pulled me into a hug which caused us to lock gazes and then lock lips. Seems like a good date, eh? I thought so too. Until he never called or texted back. Case and point, I didn’t waste my time or at least too much of my time.