I have always been interested in writing and after much thought I have decided to write a novel. The novel can be classified as romance and fantasy teen fiction. My goal is to complete the first draft by November 2008. Then after all the editing is done and it has been revised a couple of times, I would like to try to get it published. This is my dream and dang it I want to try and make it happen. The following is an excerpt for you guys to read. Let me know what you think, it means a lot to me.
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Chapter 1
“Did you just bite me?!” The hands once wrapped around my waist left their hold and immediately went to his neck. He flinched upon contact and a finger tentatively ran across the swelling spot. Pulling his hand away, he looked down upon it and discovered the blood. His eyes shot up at me, accusing, as his hand moved to hold his wound again.
This would be my cue to deny everything and fake innocence. But considering the fact I could taste his blood in my lips I don’t think I could get away with it. Sitting up from the spot on the bed where he tossed me, I stared into his anger filled eyes. He seemed to read my mind because he removed his hand from his neck and turned slightly so I could see the damage.
That was no love bite. My teeth marks were already forming on his neck where the skin was indented and slightly peeled back. The mark was bright red and whelped. There wasn’t much blood, but it was enough for him to notice and precede to freak out. Yeah. There was no way I could get away with it now, at least not completely. Shifting some of the blame, however, is not completely out of the question.
I shrugged my shoulders as I reached over the side of the bed to grab my discarded shirt. “I thought you said that you liked it kinky.” I sucked on my bottom lip just because I remembered how much he liked it when I did that.
The hand on his neck kept rubbing the wound in a circular motion. His eyes fell from the penetrating gaze he had on me and remained silent. I think I really messed up this time.
“Brian… Listen I-” I was abruptly cut off by the sound of deep voice laughing. The sound of him laughing was once something pleasant but not now. The only thought through my mind is how annoying and out of place it sounds. This was after all not a laughing matter by any means, so why the sudden burst of happiness?
“What is so funny?”
“I always thought all the things people say about you were always a bit on the ridiculous side.” He swung his legs over the side of the bed. I noticed him shake his head a bit before standing up. “I was wrong. The things they say about you don’t even begin to describe how messed up you are.”
I cringed. But I couldn’t disagree with his words. He told me the day he asked me out, that Monday after school about three months ago, he never believed a word of the rumors. That was his call not mine – I never asked him to believe in me nor did I ask him to ignore the warnings about me. But he feed me the typical male response – well – the typical response from a male who wanted to get laid. Whether he believed in me or not was never something I truly cared about. The only thing on my mind cared about was finding out if he was the one.
So engrossed in my thoughts I didn’t even hear anything else he said. I think he was mumbling more to himself than to me anyway. He stood still for a minute. I couldn’t tell from where I was sitting, but my guess is he’s looking at the photo of us together on my dresser.
“What? Do you want the picture?” The mockery in my voice like throwing alcohol to a fresh wound. Oh yes, this event would certainly be stirring up some new rumors.
No words came out of his mouth and I thought maybe he would just leave without saying anything else. Grabbing his jacket off the hook by my bedroom door, he paused in mid-step and turned around. “By the way…” His hand twisted and opened the door. “My name isn’t Brian.”
“Ouch!” I shouted, merely taunting him one last time before he slammed the door shut.
Yeah I definitely messed this one up big time. Not that I didn’t see it coming. How we managed to have anything beyond 24 hours was a mystery beyond my comprehension. This boy was perfection as far as all senior girls at Northwest Academy were concerned. Tall, dark, and handsome didn’t even begin to cover it. He was polite, cheerful, humorous, and the star of our swim team. He was trim and muscular, and had blue eyes that nearly every girl I knew had fallen head over heals with at one point or another. I think that was why I thought he was the one I was looking for – because he was so physically perfect.
Too bad I could never remember his name. Here I thought I finally got it right too. It made me wonder, if he wasn’t ‘Brian’ then who exactly was Brian. Did I even know a Brian? I have never been one for remembering names, especially not for the male species. And besides what was the point in remembering the name of those who were most definitely not the one.
Standing from the bed, I walk towards the dresser and to the picture he was looking at before he left. In the photograph I have my arms wrapped around his neck while he lefts me up from the ground. Both our faces have wide grins and in the background you can see a ferries wheel. I can clearly remember that day for it had actually taken place only a couple of weeks ago. It is quite amusing, not the laugh out loud amusing, but the rather sadly pathetic type of amusing. If such a thing even existed to others. That picture was full of falsehood, for in that picture I was supposed to be holding on to ‘the one’. But now looking back at it, all I was holding on to was a mere simple human boy. A boy whose name I didn’t care enough to ever try to remember.
May 30th, 2008 at 10:02 pm
the story was madd interested. i loved it……….i want more lmao
June 4th, 2008 at 5:31 am
I really enjoyed reading the excerpt. Just that little bit has me drawn. I’d love to read the rest, when you get it done!
June 6th, 2008 at 1:05 am
I like it! It’s an interesting first chapter.
June 11th, 2008 at 6:22 pm
I like it. It’s very interesting thus far, but there are a few minor grammatical errors that could use a bit of work, just for clarification’s sake. I was somewhat confused for a little bit, but that’s cause my mind’s always in the gutter lately…I kept hoping this was going to be a BL novel. *headdesk* Lol. I like it though, even if it isn’t. =D
July 23rd, 2008 at 1:01 pm
I love it, so what is she? she refers to him as a ‘mere simple human boy’ is there a hidden message to us in that sentence or is she just cynical?
July 30th, 2008 at 12:47 pm
Ah so you caught on. Yes that is a hidden message, but at the same time she is being cynical as well. She is a complicated character to say the least.
October 5th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
Nice job!
I love it so far and I’m really glad you’re pursuing your dream. Believe me, I want to be there too, but I don’t have enough patience.
Hahaha.
Love always,
Ems