The entry way for a new year paves the path for the remainder of that year, or at least that’s what people like to say. I, for one, hope that is definitely not true. For starters, New Years sucked major a**. Why? Oh come on! Because of a boy >.> [ this shouldn’t be a surprise, should it ? ] But yes, I let a boy (man-child?) ruin the start of the new year for me. In fact, he pretty much ruined the whole holiday season for me. Now before we bring out the torches and try to burn him at the stake ( sooooo tempting ) the whole thing was my fault. RELAX! I’m not one of those girls either. I am, however, a girl that is responsible for her own actions. I messed [ super loose term here ] around with a guy that a 3-year girlfriend. And I’ll spare you the nasty details and cut to the bottom line: he chose her over me. (insert tears and self-destructive behavior and chocolate)
But here is the sticky part. You see, he was an officer in my world of warcraft guild where I am, you guessed it, guild leader. [ do i now how to make a mess or what ?!?! ] He was in the guild from almost the start and had a huge hand in developing it so what now?? Being the mature reasonable person I am, I told him to stay and even told him to remain being a raider.
I know, I didn’t think this through AT ALL.
Seeing him online after the “breakup” was horrible. I don’t think I have ever experienced true heartbreak before him. Because as stupid as his empty words were… they were still exactly what I had always wanted to hear from someone. Anywho — Raiding began with only 5 raiders ( this included him ) so we had to pug out 5 more slots each week. Each week we met someone new that either joined our guild or tagged along for the raids each time. By the end of the month, we had managed to recruit 2 amazing players from our pugs and befriended a 3rd player who showed up to raid with us.
As happy as the inner geek-girl was, I still felt horrible seeing him on! It was insane! The moment he logged in I could feel my heart sink to the bottom of my stomach and had to put all my will power to stop the tears from rolling down my cheeks. And of course his new attitude wasn’t helping any. Snarky remarks, no direct communication, and his total disregard for what happened got under my skin every single night. But I had to keep strong, guild leader duties and all that good stuff made me “suck it up”. If this was how things had to be from now on then it was time to start getting used to it.
Besides our new friends were really nice! Especially Austin. He’s super nice and funny, we talk quite a bit (even added me on facebook and randomly started texting me haha). I know what you’re thinking though! I won’t be making the same mistake twice >.> He’s really far away too so I don’t think an “us” is even possible. [ He’s in Nevada and I’m in Jersey ] And I don’t think I’m over him quite yet. Because even though at this point it has almost been an entire month, I still have to interact with him 4/7 days of the week. Austin knows the whole story and has been really supportive, like I said super nice guy. We even talked on the phone once or twice – won’t lie I was super nervous ( and partially confused ). He’s definitely different… and somehow exactly what I think I need?
January was one hell of a month ~
I realize it’s April now but just look at how much I had to say about just one month! For the next few days I will be posting about each month leading up to the current date and stuff. I wanna keep this all in my memories so I’m gonna have to bore you with all the girly details of my nerdy life.