Writers Muse
No Chance
Anime – Gundam SEED: Description: [Oneshot - Songfic - Dearka x Miriallia] There’s no way. No, I will ever admit it. Not out loud … not even to myself. I won’t admit … that I have fallen in love with you.
Miriallia laid on her bed thinking about the events that occurred early that day. She couldn’t believe how she acted – so childish. Covering her face with her hands she let out a load groan. Getting up from her bed she walked over to her balcony. Looking up at the sky and stars, she let her eyes close as thoughts of a certain blond clouded her mind.
If there’s a prize for rotten judgment
I guess I’ve already won that
No man is worth the aggravation
that’s ancient history, been there, done that!
Flashback
Miriallia was sitting at the park bench reading a book when she suddenly felt a shadow cast over her. Looking up she was greeted with the smile of an all too familiar blond boy. She didn’t even bother saying a word to him she just continued to read her book.
The boy frowned slightly at her apparent persistence in ignoring his presence. Taking a seat next to her he spoke up, “What are you doing? Besides reading…” he asked.
“If you insist on knowing, I was relaxing Dearka,” she simply stated never once removing her eyes from the book.
Taking the book out of her hands, he gave a smirk to the petite girl. “How about relaxing on a date with me instead?”
Her heart skipped a beat at the question he asked. But no, she couldn’t – she would never.
Who’d'ya think you’re kiddin’
He’s the earth and heaven to you
Try to keep it hidden
Honey, we can see right through you
Girl, ya can’t conceal it
we know how ya feel and
who you’re thinking of
She had to get a grip on her emotions. It was just a simple question – which he always seemed to ask her. Yet every single time he would ask her out her heart would flutter.
Miriallia frowned at the boy, “Not in a million years,” she replied as she tried to take her book back. She couldn’t believe how he always managed to annoy her even on her most relaxing days. Miriallia mentally cursed the fact that he seemed unfazed by her rejection.
No chance, no way
I won’t say it, no, no
Dearka simply laughed, he already knew what she was going to say even before she said it. He just looked at the girl as she tried to grab her book from his hands. Grabbing her wrist he heard her gasp at his touch.
You swoon, you sigh
why deny it, uh-oh
The look on Dearka’s face suddenly turned into a serious one. Since the time the war had ended he thought that maybe they could be just normal teenagers. Why was she being so hardheaded? Why couldn’t she admit her feelings to him – or even to herself?
It’s too cliché
I won’t say I’m in love
She hated when he touched her it made her feel … no he made he feel nothing she mentally told herself. While her mind denied it her heart felt like it was on fire by just the feel of his touch. Miriallia closed her eyes for a second forcing these feelings out her mind and body.
Dearka remained staring into her eyes, “Why do you keep turning me down?” he asked her. The grip on her hand was still firm so she couldn’t run away from him – and the question.
I thought my heart had learned its lesson
It feels so good when you start out
My head is screaming get a grip, girl
Unless you’re dying to cry your heart out
Miriallia moved her head to the side; she just couldn’t stand looking into his eyes anymore. This could not be happening again – she could not believe she was allowing herself to fall in lo… no it was impossible! First it had been Tolle then Sai – you would think a girl would learn her lesson the third time around.
Looking up again she managed to get a small smirk on her face. “Have you ever thought of the possibility that I don’t like you?” she asked venom on the drop of every word. She hated having to say and act this way towards him, but she had no other choice…
You keep on denying
Who you are and how you’re feeling
Baby, we’re not buying
Hon, we saw ya hit the ceiling
Face it like a grown-up
When ya gonna own up
That ya got, got, got it bad
Dearka’s face turned stone cold hearing the word’s she said. Dropping the book aside he grabbed her by the waist bringing her closer to him. He was emotionally exhausted from being torn apart time after time by Miriallia’s cold words.
Miriallia’s eyes widened at the feel of Dearka’s body so close to her own. It was like she was in a trance like state it was the sound of his voice that finally made her blink.
“Look me in the eye and tell me you mean it,” he said, his voice hard as well as his facial features.
No chance, now way
I won’t say it, no, no
Miriallia couldn’t believe what he was asking her to do. She couldn’t understand why was he making things so difficult – why couldn’t he just leave me alone, her mind screamed.
Miriallia felt Dearka’s hand on her back bringing her body unbearably closer to his own. Her mind couldn’t think straight, all she could think of was the how good it felt being so close to him. Her face was right by his chest; taking a deep breath she inhaled his scent. Despite herself, her mouth started to form a smile.
Give up; give in
Check the grin you’re in love
Miriallia let out a low groan; she couldn’t believe she was letting herself be so caught up over a boy. She put up her hands to his chest as if trying to push away from him. As much as she tried she could not get even an inch away from him, but her hands remained on the young mans’ chest nonetheless’.
She looked up into his eyes but the moment she did she knew she couldn’t tell him. Although she hated to admit it she did not hate the boy before her. Miriallia let her head drop to the side, “Dearka… I…” she was interrupted by Dearka.
Dearka had now let go of her body and grabbed the sides of her face, “I said look me in the eye and say it. Say you don’t love me.”
This scene won’t play,
I won’t say I’m in love
Miriallia felt on the verge of tears, she couldn’t believe he was making this so hard for her. The hands on her face made sure she couldn’t look anywhere but into Dearka’s eyes.
Miriallia closed her eyes and took a deep breath, “I…what I mean is that… I don’t want to hurt you but…” she started to say.
Dearka couldn’t believe she was still being so stubborn. Even though he heard what she was saying, he didn’t believe a word of it. He once again cut Miriallia off, but this time it was by the touch of his lips against hers.
You’re doing flips read our lips
you’re in love
Miriallia couldn’t believe what was happening – Dearka was actually kissing her! In spite of her mind telling her to push away she found herself leaning into the kiss. His hands were now holding her hips to hold her even closer.
Dearka had no idea what had came over him, he actually expected to be pushed away any second. Throwing some caution to the wind he licked her bottom lip to allow entrance to her mouth. Miriallia gasped at the sensation of his tongue and he took this chance to explore her mouth.
He suddenly pulled away and started planting butterfly kisses down her collarbone, earning a soft moan from her lips. Miriallia hoped he hadn’t heard her moan, but he did and it drove him crazy. Crashing his lips onto hers again he sucked on her bottom lip hoping to gain another moan from her, which of course he did.
Dearka pulled away from her, before he lost complete control, it was then he noticed the expressed on her face. It was not what he had expected at all…
You’re way off base
I won’t say it
Get off my case
I won’t say it
Miriallia had a brush spread across her face her breathing uneven, but the thing that Dearka noticed were the tears in her eyes. He felt really guilty now since he didn’t mean to make her cry. All he wanted to do was make her admit her feelings for him. After all if she hadn’t had felt anything for him then why did she respond to his kiss.
Dearka let out a sigh of frustration; he knew he needed to apologize. He was about to open his mouth when he felt her hand slap him across the face.
”How could you?” was all that Miriallia managed to say through her tears. Pushing him away she ran as fast as she could.
End of Flashback
Tears were threatening to spill from her eyes just by the shear memory of the situation. She held her fingers to her lips and a small faint smile appeared. It was rather silly her mind told her, but either way she could still taste and feel his lips on hers. The kiss had been everything she had expected, wanted, and needed but those were the same reasons why she hated it.
Girl, don’t be proud
it’s O.K. you’re in love
Miriallia felt herself about to break down to cry, but the sound of the door bell made her regain her composure. She had no idea who would be ringing her doorbell this late at night. Opening the door a frown spread across her face – no one was there.
She was just about to close the door when she looked down and saw a bouquet of red roses on her doormat. Bending down to pick it up she noticed it had a note. The frown she had on her face faded away into a smile as she read the note. It only had five words on it, but those five words meant so much to her:
I’ll wait until you’re ready…Oh
At least out loud,
I won’t say I’m in love
No name was attached to the note … no name was needed. She knew exactly whom it was from and exactly what it meant. Closing the door she leaned her back against it and smelled the roses in her hands.
For now the only the thing she could do is smile as her heart fluttered in her chest. Yes. It was true. She was in love… she just wasn’t ready to admit it … at least not outloud…