Description: This essay was written for my english 102 class, that I took a couple of months back. It is a special essay to me because I actually taught myself a few things. The topic is about the different types of love a person can go through.
What is love? According to the American Heritage dictionary love is a “deep emotion and warm feeling for another” (“Love”). But by connotations love is almost limitless. The definition for love leaves space for numerous types of love. There is puppy love, platonic, romantic, and sexual love, just to name a few. There is also the question, is it love or infatuation? Knowing what love is can be simpler than trying to tell, “…the difference between love and infatuation can be rather confusing” (“What is Love?”).
Infatuation is an extravagant passion or admiration for a person that is greatly confused with love. When a person is infatuated they will experience some things that they would not feel if they were actually in love. For example a person may start to have “feelings of panic, uncertainty, overpowering lust, feverish excitement, impatience, and/or jealously” (Hautman). The only way to know for sure if what one is feeling is infatuation or love is by being patient and giving it time.
Love is an affection that makes a person start to care for another. When you feel love the experience “…will propel you into another dimension, another reality” (Hill). It’s a feeling from the deepest reaches of the soul, and from the vastest expressions of the heart. It symbolizes unselfishness, willingness, devotion, and understanding. It’s trusting someone and questioning them before believing lies from others. Love is the most thoughtful and most understanding feeling of all, because it involves an undying trust in someone. It means thinking about someone all day and not being able to take them off ones mind. Sometimes love can be one sided; other times it is a friendship. When one is in love, one starts doing things for the other person. When being in love one just wants the other person to notice them with the same fondness.
In a sense one does anything for love but does not mean it is love. As said by marriage and family therapist Wendy Hill, “Love asks that you give up judgment, fear, resentment, shame, hurt, and expectation of love returned”. Love is pure and honest not ever jealous or selfish. When in love one never hurts, but always understands and forgives. Love is not a trend or a disease; it is a four-letter word that brings happiness and pain. This feeling of love cannot be expressed in destructive ways. One can only show love by giving “your attention, your time, your focus to someone” (“What is Love?”). In many forms and types love is just an emotion that can happen to anyone at any age.
Occurring at a very young age puppy love is a wonderful thing. Puppy love is when an adolescent starts liking someone. Puppy love can be a wonderful brand new experience to someone, but unfortunately not long lasting. It’s an infatuation that starts off strong, but gradually fades. This is when one first feels shy around the opposite sex. One starts to have an increased heartbeat and sweaty palms around that certain person. When an adolescent has a crush or is in ‘love’ they will only see the good things in that person. Like most infatuations it is merely a physical attraction and it can be quite painful if one is rejected.
A platonic love is “a pure, spiritual affection, subsisting between persons of opposite sex” (“Platonic love”). Friendships can also be called platonic love because they are a non-physical and non-sexual relationship. Friendship is the comfort of feeling safe with a person and being able to share everything with them. In a friendship or platonic love there is honesty, trust, and sharing. The two people in this type of relationship must be able to trust each other to the fullest. There is a mutual respect to one another and loyalty involved. True friendships or platonic love is the highest form of human relationships. From a platonic love many other types of love can be born.
In platonic love there is an ability to talk about anything with a sense on relaxation. Both of the people involved are perfectly natural and act normally. When in a platonic relationship one loves emotionally and supportive, no matter what happens. When one is really committed to this type of love one does not “…gossip…[one] see[s] gossip as undesirable and destructive” (Hill). A platonic love can happen at any time in someone’s life and one can have more than one.
What is romantic love? A romantic love is “…one where you have a deep feeling of connection to the other person” (Hautman). Romantic love became a recognized passion in the Middle Ages, when in some cases overwhelming barriers of morality separated lovers. In more modern times romantic love has been the theme of art and entertainment in all its forms. Some of the greatest poetry, opera, and literature have romantic love as the main theme.
In a romantic relationship, one wants to be with the other person all the time and do all things together. In a basic sense one’s world revolves around the other. In this relationship both partners accept each other for who they are and both appreciate the other. Unlike platonic love, romantic love involves “a mix of emotional and sexual desire” (“Romantic love”). Just like other types of love, romantic love can be returned or unrequited. One of the ways you desire to express your love for them through your sexuality. Romantic love can generate many powerful feelings. It can provide a profound ecstasy, and a deep suffering when frustrated. To some people romantic love is irrational; to others it’s an emotional storm.
When involved in a romantic relationship both the partners need to be committed to each other. Romantic love is the foundation of most marriages, “without the attachment of romantic love, we would live in an entirely different society…that…[resembles]…circles in the animal world” (Obringer). It is also romantic love that makes one stay in a marriage, especially after children are born.
There is also sexual love, which is mostly physical rather than emotional. In a sexual relationship there is of course arousal, lust, and lots of touching. This type of relationship is not long lasting since the couple is close while having sex, but not afterwards. Sexual love is dependent on lust while romantic love is dependent on emotions. According to Sexologist John Money, “Love exists above the belt, lust below. Love is lyrical. Lust is lewd” (Obringer). While being in a sexual relationship one is only seen as an object to the other. One’s sexual desire needs to be met, if not then one moves on to another partner. If one has a strong sexual love for a long period of time it may be that one is also developing a romantic love.
What love is depends on the type of love one is feeling; such as puppy love, platonic, romantic, and sexual. Infatuation and love are greatly confused, but with time one is able to tell what one is actually feeling. Love is more then one simple definition and it can be many types.
work citied
- Hautman, Jennifer. “Is What I’m Feeling Infatuation or Love?” Self Creation. 15 Feb. 2006 .
- Hill, Wendy. “Love: The Joy and the Sacrifice.” How to Have A Better Life and Better Relationships. 15 Feb. 2006.
- “Love.” Def. 1. The American Heritage. 3rd ed. 1994.
- Obringer, Lee Ann. “How Love Works.” Howstuffworks. 14 Feb. 2006 .
- “Platonic love.” Web Knowledge Online. 15 Feb. 2006 .
- “Romantic love.” Wikipedia. 15 Feb. 2006 .
- “What is Love?” Love Sessions. 15 Feb. 2006 .
I think the essay was quite descriptive and detailed. However, I did in fact, disagree with quite a few points. Firstly, I believe this definition essay should’ve been written in the form of a persuasive, rather than a definitive. Because, I believe that ‘love’ is actually a term that defines many things, differently to different people.
“Love is pure and honest not ever jealous or selfish. When in love one never hurts, but always understands and forgives.”
I also disagree with what you said here. Purity, unselfishness and honesty is fine; however, the justification for never acting upon one’s jealousy, and hurting impulses is missing. I don’t believe people would always be selfless when they’re ‘in love’. Passionate love does sometimes result in extremities.
On a personal level, I’m not exactly a dominant believer in ‘romantic love’. I believe it’s only lust, and toleration. But anyhow, that’s besides the point.
Overall though, the essay was well written. I did spot a few spelling and grammar (mostly grammar, I think) errors, but they were just that. Few.
AND Omigosh, you missed ‘friends with benefits’.