It’s kind of funny how things sometimes turn out…. Things are even better when it is completely unexpected! Well… sometimes it’s a good thing… sometimes I guess it can be a horrible thing. Not to worry though, this is definitely one of those good times. I have been talking to Austin almost every day now on WoW and/or on vent. Sometimes on Skype as well. I won’t lie, the Skype thing was a pretty big deal. I mean I hadn’t used Skype since I talked to Earl on it. Yeah, harsh memories. But with Austin it’s been pleasant so far and actually he ended up calling me the other night and we talked for quite a bit. Like actual on the phone talking. For hours. More than expected. I’m pretty introverted and after my whole experience with Earl, I’m not exactly looking forward to opening up to anyone else. But with Austin, it’s different… I know, I know. This is what I always say >.> but I’m completely serious this time around. Trust me I’ve learned my lesson and don’t want to get heartbroken again. Austin actually listens though! On one of the nights I went through the whole ordeal with Earl in detail and he listened, even when I cried like an idiot. He’s just really extremely nice to talk to and makes me feel happy. I really need happy right now.
I wish I could remember exactly the way things progressed from here but I’m winging it from texts/msgs.
At this point we’ve been talking for a little over 3 weeks so I feel we know each other pretty well. He comes on vent all the time and he does random stuff with me on WoW like PvP. On this particular day – February 6th – while doing some PvP on WoW I was private messaging Austin (while I believe also being on vent with him [I think this wasn’t spoken out loud because Jay was on vent too]) and he asked me something that I can honestly say is the cutest thing any boy has ever asked me. The conversation went a little something like this:
Him: Have you heard of a facebook marriage?
Me: What do you mean?
Him: Sometimes two people just put they are married, when they are just talking and stuff.
Me: Oh okay… Have you ever been in one?
Him: A long time ago but just like by myself, didn’t have another person put it as married on their profile too.
Me: Ohhhh…
Him: Do you think you would wanna do that?
Me: Do what? Be in a fb marriage with you?
Him: Yeah.
Me: I guess so. (At this point I changed my relationship status and sent him the status request which he immediately accepted.)
Alright, so I’m not exactly known for being the smartest cookie in the crayon box. I thought the idea was the cutest thing ever but also made me nervous. Did I really wanna rush into this? But it’s only a facebook status, no big deal… Even after a TON of his friends and family members commented on our relationship status, I still thought to myself no big deal. It’s not like we’re dating *insert nervous laughter* Laurie told me the next day, she thought that was a clear enough sign that yes we were in fact dating. I still brushed it off. I think I would know if I was his girlfriend… Not that I don’t want to be. I mean I do, like I really would like to be but… This does feel a bit rushed =/
I wanted to talk to him about it but didn’t know how to bring it up. After some thinking, I decided I wouldn’t bring it up. I mean if he wanted me to be his girlfriend then he would tell me, right? Right! Okay then.
About an hour into our conversation on Skype, he referred to me as his girlfriend and for the first time in years I had the “butterfly” feelings. Should I have told him my concern about rushing into this relationship? Probably. But it made me happy and being the selfish creature that I am, that’s all I cared about. Besides he’s in Nevada and I’m in New Jersey. It’s too soon to determine anything, but I do want to know where this goes. It’s exciting. I have to say I also quite enjoy his endearments [i.e. the random “I love you” posts on my wall]. It’s just nice having someone that you can show affection to and will return it with equal value.
Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. I’m not the type of girl to expect anything. Do I want some nice gifts? Heck Yeah! But I don’t expect it. But now that I have a boyfriend maybe I was expecting just a little something. Don’t worry; this is not where I start writing about being disappointed. Actually I was quite pleasantly surprised by a delivery of beautiful flowers for the special day!
Something I also feel I should mention is we started using Voxer app on our phones to leave each other little messages and send each other pictures every so often. There is seriously no better feeling for me than seeing him leave me a voice message on there. I will listen to it over and over. Honestly I was a bit meh about leaving him messages. I hate my voice, always have and always will. But he wanted me to and so as a good girlfriend I did. And now we leave messages for each other all the time because text messages can only do so much and hearing his voice is just freaking amazing. [note: I have always had a “thing” for the sound/tone of a guy’s voice and Austin is definitely top 5 best/awesome/sexy/cute voices ever] I think it’s a definite must have app for a long distance relationship.
But anyways the month progressed just as beautifully. Well for the most part >.> Like any normal couple we have already hit a few bumps.
You see we were going to have our 3rd Skype date and he informed me he was having a boy weekend… To clarify, we don’t use Skype to video chat every day. Because of my home life (aka my crazy and nosy mother watching my every move) I can only use the webcam late at night on the weekends so needless to say Skype “dates” are pretty darn important. His “wow weekend” basically means his best friend is coming over to play WoW and sleepover, which means no privacy for our date. *sigh* I was especially upset when he decided to tell me this the day of our date; more specify a few hours right before. Oh yeah, I was livid. It hasn’t been a month into our relationship, this is our 3rd freaking date, and he is cancelling on me for video games?!?!? I threw a tantrum of epic proportions and the end result was we had our date – he took his mom’s laptop and went into another room so we could have privacy. Okay, so maybe having a tantrum wasn’t my best idea. I’m a person with high emotional output #fact. I can’t help it. But I did apologize for being childish and he apologized for cancelling it in the first place. Problem solved.
On to the next one…
I don’t actually remember much about this fight but I know I said some things I probably shouldn’t have. What happened was, I was very sick, like high fever delusional sick. And well… this is hard to say… ugh… I have a lot of insecurities about my relationship with Austin. Mostly due to the fact that he has had many more girlfriends/relationships than I’ve ever had. So in other words… I’m freaking jealous. Oh spare me the “..but that was the past” blah blah blah crap, I already know all that. Doesn’t change how I feel though. On this particular night, as I layed in bed talking to him on the phone, all I could think about was how experienced he was. And how inexperienced I was at everything. It sucked. Being as sick as I was (I believe my fever that night was over 99) I had a major case of word vomit. Like I said, between my already bad memory and the fever I don’t remember exact words. I do, however, remember saying something along the lines of “…I’m not your first so you shouldn’t be my first”. Yeah, I’m pretty f**ked up when I’m sick + emotional. Next day I apologized for whatever it was I said and he accepted it and told me it was okay. I asked him to tell me what exactly I said but he said it was best just to let it go since he could tell I wasn’t myself.
But yeah that was February… OH SNAP! Almost forgot!
I received my monthiversary present a bit earlier than expected, check it out!
Such a beautiful necklace, I freaking love it!
Yeah… I’m a pretty lucky girl right now <3
Next time… The mighty month of March!