I want to say there has been a lot going on the past few months. I want to tell you that I’ve been working towards my many different goals in life. I wish I could say that I have changed my lazy ways and didn’t have just a bunch of excuses to explain my lack of motivation towards life. I’ll spare you though. There hasn’t been anything worth telling about. Maybe minor things here and there but nothing I can remember. Of course my memory isn’t the most reliable. Every so often I feel I put myself in the box of non-living. Like I purposely lock myself away and become this f*cking zombie going through my day the same way I did the day before. Nothing ever changes. I’m not trying to be emo – I swear I’m not trying to. It seems I get like this ‘I hate life’ mood every time my birthday comes around. I feel like I’m getting old. It’s so stupid, I know I’m not old (turning 24) but the not getting anything accomplished yet is depressing. This might not sound the great… but I have always felt I was meant for more than the average person. I can’t explain it. I mean I have felt this way for as long as I can remember but never have been able to find that thing I’ll be good at. Partially because I never try. I always say I’m trying but in reality I’m more like giving it a half-ass attempt. People say knowing the problem is the first step to fixing it. In my case though, knowing the problem just makes me prolong applying the solution.

*cough*

No, I’m actually not ‘sick’ as in like the flu or anything like that. Over the weekend I hurt myself around my breasts and now have a lump. It hurts like a bruise without there actually being a bruise on the outside. Maybe it’s a muscle pain thing. I don’t know. But if after a week it doesn’t go away then I might consider going to the doctor. I’ve been seeing way too many doctors lately and it’s becoming a pain. On Friday I have my monthly check up with my blood specialist and I haven’t been taking my iron pills the way I should so I know my levels are gonna be low this month.

…in other news -

IT’S MARCH!

March happens to be a very important month for many reasons. First of all, this month marks 1 year and 7 months with Adam which means… I’m his longest relationship! It is very exciting for me. He has so much more experience in life (he’s six years older than me) and so to hit a milestone together is very amazing. And speaking of Adam… his birthday is this friday the 4th. I super pumped for him as it is the big 3 – 0. I don’t think he realizes just how important this birthday is to a person. For the most part I think he feels old with this number even though he doesn’t look a day over 20. But finally the biggest thing for me this month would be the awesomeness that is having a week’s vacation. No holidays this month and with no sick days left, I’m thrilled to have this glorious week away from work!